A year can be a long time, or it can go by in flash- as if it was suddenly the start of the spring, and next thing you know it’s Christmas. 2023 was one of the longest years of my life. I was happy, tired, grateful, isolated, resilient, and broken. I think years that challenge you are important. Knowing that you made it through 365 days of what seemed like hell one moment and bliss the next should be something we are all proud of.

I have learned a lot year after year, and have carried my lessons learned and new beliefs with me. I have been collecting my little thoughts in my head since last January, and I decided to break it all down into 23 things I learned in 2023. These are things I’ve learned, and they just might be things you agree or don’t agree with. Take everything with a grain of salt. And bear with me- this might be long.

1. Things turn out best for those who make the best out of things

I saw this one in a fortune cookie a while back and saved it. I didn’t know I would think so hard about this as the year went on, but it really is so true. Not everything is going to go your way, and there’s a lot that you can’t do to change that. Making even the smallest note of the positive in a situation can change everything. I think effort is better than nothing sometimes.

2. Write handwritten notes

Whether it’s to family, friends, a significant other, or even yourself, write a letter with your own hand. Trust me, thoughts can flow differently on paper than they do on a screen.

3. You haven’t met all of the people who will love you

I didn’t really grasp the reality of this until later in the year. As a young adult, there are still so many more things I’ll be lucky to hopefully have the chance to experience. With that, comes the realm of possible connections I will make. I think that can be an afterthought sometimes when we take a look at our friendships and relationships. After high school, we all think we’ve found our forever friends. Then you get to college, and you think you’ve found your bridesmaids. After college, you move on to another part of life. There are so many more people you will meet who will love you in ways you never expected.

4. Sunlight is important

Cliche, but very true.

5. Not all love is the same

This is more in a relationship context. Trend after trend tells us what a relationship is supposed to be, and what love should really look like. I’ve learned this year that love comes in a million different forms, and that there is no ‘textbook’ feeling of what love should be. I’m still figuring this one out, but I’ve learned this much so far.

6. Dinner and drinks>>

To start off, this might be a bit biased. Going out is fun. Being feral is fun. But, getting dinner and drinks seems to be something that isn’t a traditional Saturday night out in college. Let me tell you all, an Aperol Stritz or 3, and a nice Caesar salad and pasta combo- Truly unmatched.

7. The little things really do matter

My room has always been filled with meaningful things that most of the time don’t matter. I think little things make up for a lot of life. I’ve learned to appreciate the small gestures, the small talk with a stranger in the grocery store, or the change you find on the ground. Whatever little things matter to you, don’t push them aside.

8. Learn and create hobbies for yourself

I cannot emphasize this enough. If the ‘interests’ form on a questionnaire or the ‘What do you like to do in your free time?’ question stumps you, you really need a hobby. I always had my little hobbies and niches growing up, but translating hobbies into adulthood became hard for me. I’ve dedicated time to my hobbies this year, and I’m going to prioritize them even more for 2024.

9. invest in your wardrobe

Admittedly, I’m a sucker for a good trend. I love to scroll and scroll and pick out a new shirt or outfit for every event. But this year, I’ve learned the importance of investing in good, timeless pieces. This also goes hand in hand with investing in clothes you feel comfortable in. Micro trends aren’t for everyone. The biggest thing I’ve learned this year is how my shopping habits can truly affect my mindset the trying to pick out an outfit. I’ve gone from “having nothing to wear” to having timeless mix-and-match pieces for almost any occasion.

10. Your success is not measured by other’s validation

For a while, I thought my success would truly be ‘success’ if someone else commented on it. Validation is really nice, but just because something you do isn’t initially recognized by the people around you, that doesn’t discount it as a major success in your life. This year, I overcame a lot of little and big things in my life. Poor example, but I used to be afraid to kill bugs. I’ve killed quite a few this year. Small success that nobody really validated. Still a success in my book. So celebrate your own wins, no matter how small.

11. Doing nothing doesn’t make you boring

THIS!!!! I literally can’t stress this enough. I feel like our society focuses so much on experiences, and I think that can really be great sometimes. But having no plans, or staying in on Saturday night does not mean you’re ‘boring’. I’ve felt so boring and stupid for all the times I’m literally doing nothing. Toward the end of the year, I started to realize that the more quieter days and nights I had made me really appreciate the fun times. It also gave birth to this fun blog. Sometimes doing ‘nothing’ isn’t really nothing after all.

12. You don’t always need a comfort friend

If you’re anything like me and pretty anxious about social things, you might have your ‘comfort friends’. This year, I walked into quite a few rooms knowing nobody, and for the first time, realized I didn’t need anyone to make me comfortable. You have yourself above anyone and anything else, and being comfortable in my own skin in these kinda situations has been a real improvement for me this year.

13. Let go or be dragged

Another one I saw in a fortune cookie. It’s honestly so simple- Let go, or be dragged by whatever is weighing you down. This mindset has helped me more than I thought.

14. Don’t just journal when you feel down

This one might be a bit biased. I’ve been writing in diaries, journals, my notes, anywhere I could, for the greater portion of my 20 years on Earth. I’ve seen a lot of people journal when they want to reflect or get passed a tough stage of their life. I think that is one of the best things you can do. This one kinda correlates to #2, but I think journaling in literally any form should be something that is committed to regardless of a good or bad stage in life. I’ve fallen victim to only writing when I’m sad, but even just little notes about a good day, or good experience is a furthering of that amazing feeling. It’s fulfilling to look back on the pictures of happy memories, but I believe in the writing about them too.

15. Google Calendar is a lifesaver

Very, very niche. This year, I had to balance quite a few deadlines, both academically and within my personal life. Google Calendar might not work for everyone, but boy has it saved me. You will never catch me on my laptop without my calendar on full screen.

16. Spend time alone

You will probably year me yap on and on about this for a while. Spending time alone is something I will continue to recommend to everyone. It’s uncomfortable at first. Finding the balance between being alone and being lonely will change your perspective on so much. I’ve felt this year that all of those times I’ve spent alone allowed me to focus inward on myself. It’s not easy at first to find the comfortability with just yourself that you feel in a group of people. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that spending time alone doesn’t always mean isolating yourself. In many cases, you cannot grow rooted in your surroundings.

17. Mind your own business

I’m as nosy as the next person. But after this year, I’ve learned to just shut the fuck up and mind my own business. Sue me for saying this, but more people should just do the same. Minding your own is gonna make your life a whole lot more peaceful. Too many times this year did I feel like my own life was being told to me through other people. Shut up and worry about yourself.

18. Being kind to your body is more than you think

I used to do pretty much the bare minimum some weeks in terms of makeup, skincare, the whole shebang. I didn’t think I needed the fancy creams, or nice makeup brushes. I learned a lot about basic hygiene this year, and even more about how my routines weren’t always the best. I think that social media has very much influenced us into thinking a certain makeup, hair, or skincare routine is the standard for everyone. There is no exact routine that works for everyone. I explored new products that elevated my appearance, and boosted my self esteem. I think investing in yourself in more than just the traditional ways of taking care of your body are important, and sometimes overlooked (at least in my experience).

19. Self respect is a mindset

This one hit me hard. I always thought I had a lot of self respect because of my ‘I don’t give a fuck attitude’. Self respect means a lot more to me now when I looked beneath the surface of things and really got to know myself.

20. Knowing your limits

I think I learned this in a multitude of different ways. It can really be applied to anything sometimes. Take this how you will.

21. do not pick your face

Self explanatory. Leave the pimples alone.

22. Bad company corrupts good morals

This is a tough one I had to grasp. You are most times a reflection of your environment- more often than not the people you surround yourself with. This year, I realized that I was not only becoming a different person because of my environment, but being looked at differently as well. I’ve struggled with this for a while, even before 2023, but after this year, I’ve really grasped the fact that values and personality are two different things. You can match personality wise, and differ value wise. You can become who you surround yourself with.

23. Distance > disrespect

It might be lonelier, but it’s probably far more peaceful.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Again, these are all from my own brain, my own experiences, and a very tough and relentless year. Whatever things you learned in 2023, I hope you carry them with you- the good and the bad.

Happy new year.

xoxo,

Caroline